First things first. (And there's a LOT of first things). I'm going to be an AUNT of a little girl. Ash, that just made my day!!!!! I'm doing the David Archuleta dance right now. Congrats to mike and ash on the whole birth-giving business.

Okay, so much to tell all of you. First of all, shout outs. Shout out to everyone who has written me here. I've officially received more mail than my entire district of 14 people COMBINED. We also learned about having investigators make commitments this week...so will you, family friends and others, help me receive DOUBLE the mail this week? Just kidding. But a shout out to Tanna Fox who is absolutely incredible and inspiring (thank you for your prayers...I NEED them), Blob LeBaron (I need your address BLOB. dearelder it to me so I can write you properly), the fam, the grandparents, my MADRE (amazing encouragement thank you and love you), but most of all HALSY--who gets home a day after I leave. Halsy, I just absolutely admire, love and respect you for your service and love. Thank you for being so incredible.

Business Paragraph: Dad, I'm flying American Airlines and I DO NOT have the number so have it ready when I call you on Monday @ 2pm. (Mommy, I'll call you too. Have the cell ready!) Okay I'm going to tell you about the week.

I only know TWO things. One, that I am completely and utterly unqualified to represent the Savior in every way possible. Two, that stupid knee-highs make my feet stink to high heaven. Back to the first one. My feelings of inadequacy are just growing exponentially. Not only is my whole district native Spanish speakers...but they are incredible people as well. They bear testimony like no other and it's such a privilege to know 'em. They exceed my expectations of 19 year olds in every way and I learn so much from them. Sorry this is so scattered, but there's a red countdown feature at the top of my screen so if this isn't coherent...my bad. The theme of this week is weakness! All of you who know me at all know that I LOVE to be right or the best or first or anything like that. I hate being weak. Don't get me wrong, I love my MTC experience and can see ways every day that the Lord is blessing me even though I deserve none of it--it's just really hard. Zabet, picture first week of Junior Core over and over and over again except people's eternal salvation is your responsibility. (Speaking of Zabet. MARRIAGE! I love you Zabet and Flamm. Flamm, nobody on earth could do better than Zabet Zenger. You are a lucky man. Congrats. Also, Zabet you haven't written me. Also, I see your brother all over this place and he is just the most adorable thing on the planet. Him and a bunch of Russian elders sang at our Sunday night devo and blew the roof off the place.)

Okay, back on track--weakness. I was sitting in my 8th hour of class for the day when my teacher asked if we'd like to study some Christlike attributes. We decided on patience and I know that was a tender mercy from Heavenly Father just for me. I feel so frustrated with myself all the time because I just want to express my deepest feelings and convictions (or sometimes just tell a simple story) but CAN"T because I really don't speak Spanish. I'm frustrated because I think I thought that if I gave my best here every day the Lord would loosen my tongue and by this time next week, I'd be jammering away with the natives. I expected this blessing in my own time--and that's not the way to go! I need this experience because it tests my faith that the Lord will bless me in HIS own way and HIS own time. I need this experience because I needed my confidence in MY own abilities to be brought down. I needed to be the absolute worst at something to completely turn to the Lord and trust that I'll be okay. If that beautiful tender mercy wasn't enough, I was reading Ether 12:27 the classic that I always kind of brushed over (because COME ON, I'm Emily Bourne...joke!) I am coming to the Lord in a whole new kind of way over here and because of that, He has definitely shown me my weaknesses. Many, many of them. I am just humbled to the ground to think of how horrible I am in so many aspects of my life. I need to be so much better if I'm going to represent the Savior in Chile. I need to improve in every single possible way if I even have a shot. Luckily, I had the sweetest experience in the temple today. I just apologized to Heavenly Father for how bad and weak I am. My answer was the feeling of "It's okay, I can make you what you need to be." SUCH a great answer, NO? I've just been glowing all day with the strengthened hope and confidence that I'm not going to impede the work because God can make me something that He's going to need me to be so I don't need to worry so much...just keep swimming...just keep swimming. I think the whole "being in the MTC for only 19 days before getting shipped out" is a blessing that I needed. I know that if I would've been in intermediate, I'd have been just comfortable and fine--but I don't like that...so I'm taking this opportunity to be stretched as thin as I think I can be and then a little more. I'm so grateful to be here.

Holy cow, you're having a GIRL ash. I LOVE YOU.

Ummm....funny little things going on. I have had the hymn "Scatter Sunshine" in my head ALL WEEK and I'm going crazy. Ramirez knows I hate that hymn so she keeps picking it in class to sing!!! She's awesome. Also, I am definitely fatter than I was two weeks ago--no big deal. I'm sure there's a nice, juicy tapeworm waiting for me in Osorno. It was pizza day a few days ago--Andy, you know what that means! OH yeah, we sang Called to Serve for the very first time last week. It took SEVEN days until I sang that at the MTC...I feel jipped. Dad, Bill Murray (or his twin) taught us about Baptism being central to our purpose as missionaries and I just pictured him saying "well it's groundhog day again..." and other such hilarious lines.

 People, write to me! emails are great but I can only check them on Pdays--dear elders are the best AND dear elder goes to Osorno too! I'm box 92 and every dear elder sends me your home address so I can write you a good letter back. Funniest letter of the week...definitely BLOB. You need to tell me more about what happened with you know who and I hope you aren't too injured from your car accident...I'll pray for you, you fragile boy. Cutest letter, SOPHIE girl you are amazing. I cried when I got that. Family, I hope you know I love you. Mom, thank you for the hymn books (from my whole district) they love 'em. Family, I do love you though. Thanks for praying for me and thinking of me and writing to me. I can't wait to get out of the MTC (Heavenly Father knew I couldn't be in here for 9 weeks and He knew I needed to learn these lessons) on Monday. I'll be calling. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE you all. (mom, pics are coming in the mail, I can't send them over email at the MTC. Poor Sam, I see him ALL the time. He's absolutely incredible (well done Sue and Dave!), but really wants to get out. Welp, my time is coming to an end. I hope you understood any of this email...I'm sweating because that DANG countdown clock (and probably because I'm getting HUGE from this food ;) ). Love you all. Thanks for the prayers and letters...

LOVE YOU. Em

mom and dad... I love you