(excerpt from a personal letter to Emily’s parentsJ)
Mom and dad, I’m going to be so weird when I get home… I’ve reached a state of wonderfulness (not me of course – but I’m IN a state of wonderfulness.) I feel so removed- out of the world. It’s like my brain, heart, and soul are on excellerated mode. It’s such a beautiful thing to eliminate all distractions and focus on other people and their needs.
(Dad, there is not monotony out here! Every day there’s a new dog to bite me, a new drunk to attempt to kiss me, and a new Evangelical “sister in Christ” to cruelly reject me..) All I think about is the Savior or scriptures, goals or investigators…I want the best from myself and my companions. I feel really, exceedingly comfortable in the language and teaching. I have so many goals- and even though day by day I see my progression at a glacial pace- I look back to even September and know that I am different.
My testimony makes living and understanding others so much easier. To me it just makes sense to live the gospel and it’s teachings. Sometimes I would just like to wear a T-shirt that reads “OBVIOUSLY”. The gospel is so simple. Our covenants are so important- they are everything and they are sadly so easy to forget. I know I am in a state of unnatural spiritualness and I love it. To see so clear the only things that matter- namely God, Jesus Christ, the gospel, my family, my covenants and other people.
I think it’s possibly the most beautiful thing in the world to be a missionary. So thank you for raising me-everything you guys did helped lead me down here- to one of the most important works I will ever do.
Not only am I coming to a greater knowledge of my Savior, but I’m in a small way helping others do the same. Sometimes it just hits me that I am literally helping to save souls. I’m not “serving a mission” it’s more like…I wake up every day and pray that I can do God’s will- and He always shows us the way. He always leads us into people that need this…or if not this- a hug, an arm around the shoulder, a reassuring word (in a funny accent) or someone to sing happy birthday to them because their mother is drunk and can’t remember. I’ve had so many moments where I’ve gotten to nurture another person. I think sisters serve very different missions than Elders. The Elders have authority and power to teach and baptize- I think we have love and perspective that nurtures and prepares the way for those harvesting Elders to come in and reap with all their might.
The mission isn’t some “program” or “experience” that one has. I think it is one of the most complex things a 19-21 year old can do. It has been an eye-opening welcome to human nature…. I’ve never worked harder or been happier or more filled with purpose and direction. I love this. If the price of feeling this way all the time is being a weird missionary then “pass the panty hose and nix the make-up!!
I love you, Em
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