Thank you.

Am I supposed to write you some giant, meaningful email? 

 What am I supposed to say that could possibly sum up this last year
and a half of my life? I don´t think words in Spanish or in English
exist to describe this.  I feel about 6 feelings at the same time.  (I
think only us sisters are capable of it.)

The first and the most overwhelming is gratitude.  Gratitude for every
single moment of this.  Good or bad.  I have grown and learned and
suffered and laughed and taught and born testimony and called to
repentance and cried and prayed and studied and loved more than at any
other time in my life.  I am grateful to know my Savior a little more.
To know how He is and how He feels.  I am grateful to be led by the
Spirit....not just once or twice...but consistently and
constantly...over and over...in the street, lessons, prayers, studies,
or quiet moments.  I have received revelation and I know that this is
real.  I am grateful to have the conviction and the knowledge of the
Plan of Salvation and the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  I had desires to
serve so that I could somehow ¨payback¨ my Heavenly Father for the
absolutely beautiful and wonderfully blessed life that He has given
me.  And now, looking back, I see NOTHING but blessings.  The service
itself is a blessing and I am grateful.

 The second is love.  I feel love.  I think, as missionaries, we are
capable of feeling love for the people we serve.  I think we have an
increased capacity because of the mantle on our shoulders.  I feel the
love of Heavenly Father so strong for His children here it´s
overwhelming sometimes.  I feel increased love for my family and
friends that, thanks to their examples and support, helped me develop
the tiny testimony seed I had into something that is delicious to me
today.  And I feel the love of God for me because I am His daughter
and it is a constant fountain of comfort, peace, and support.

 I feel peace.  I feel peace because I can look back over my official
service and honestly say that it was never between me and President or
my leaders or my companions or even my investigators....but it was for
God.  I kept walking at contacting even when I was tired or when it
was raining (11.9 months of the year) because I knew this wasn´t about
the numbers I was to report...but about helping God´s children.  I
feel peace because I´ve been able to constantly repent of my stupid
mistakes or good things I failed to do or people I let walk by.  I
love repentance and I feel at peace with the official service I´ve
been able to give.

I feel a little anxious. 

 The very best thing in my entire life is
ending.  I had enjoyed every second of it (or endured a little bit)
and I honestly do not want it to end.  However, I do understand that
life does move on and I am to take the lessons learned here and apply
them for the rest of my life.  I do feel a little anxious because the
stature we carve out here is probably the stature we will obtain
working the rest of our lives. 

 I am nervous to start a real life but
Ive prayed and I feel like my life will be beautiful because I plan on
living it with the utmost pleasure and righteousness and joy.  I think
the secret to life is that just when we get comfortable with our role,
it gets taken away and a bigger or different one is placed upon our
shoulders....its a different color or more heavy in one area or a
different shape.....but over time it becomes part of us...we first
fight against it...wishing for our last role...then we get used to
it...then it molds to us and we love it.   Then it gets taken
away.....but these roles, or burdens become the building blocks or
something greater.  I am a missionary.  But soon I have to be Emily
Bourne.  Some day (really soon according to all the General
Authorities who talk to me) I will be a wife and then a mother....then
my children will leave and Ill be something else.  Then maybe Ill be a
widow or invalid or a grandma or Primary Chorister.  Who knows what
Heavenly Father is going to dish out?!  Its really exciting and
wonderful, isn't it? 

 I am happy.  I am happy to see friends and family.  I am happy to live
my life with righteousness. I feel light and bright. I am happy to
know the gospel and the importance of it.  I know there is nothing
more important and I am happy. Ps, if you want to understand why I´m
so happy, look at the picture of my last sector. I. love. Chile.
(especially el SUR) 

  Family and Friends, thank you for stalking my blog. Thanks for the
emails and the letters and hilarious pictures from all over the world.
Thank you for the encouragement in difficult times. Thank you all,
in whatever way you did it, for contributing to my growth, learning,
or testimony. I think someday after this life you will all understand
the influence for good you have had on me. I love you all and will
see you soon.

Hermana Bourne